Hey! What’s up? Haven’t seen you lately.
Yeah, I’ve been busy.
Busy with what? Work?
Yeah, work. But not the office work. I joined a cultural army and was busy protecting our culture.
Oh, you joined the Sene Sainiks? I heard you guys beat up some girls in a pub or something? Man, why would you do something like that??
We were actually protecting our women, silly! Did you know that Muslim boys lure away our girls and get them converted at Ponnani in Kerala? And it is not only our girls, but the Christian girls too. Christian girls man! Your tribe. Do you see the danger now? We gotta be together in this fight against Jehadi Romeos!
Oh! Didn’t know that. Hmmm… but hey! Wait a minute! Why would you beat the girls for what boys are doing to them? You were beating up them poor victims for the fault of someone else?
That is why we talk about culture saala! These girls did not consider our warnings about Jehadis and became a threat to our great culture.
So you beat them up in order to protect our culture?
Well, that too.
But what right do you hold to come in and beat up these girls? Shouldn’t it be left to themselves to decide what they want to do with their life and culture?
When they fail on their duty to uphold the culture, we come in and take care of that. See what a selfless service we do to our country?
Hmm… well, you remind me of someone else whom I’ve seen in the media. I can’t remember who it is, but you resemble him a lot.
Oh yeah? Who is it? Well, anyways, do you see what western culture is doing to us with all these?
Well, what is this western culture?
Immorality, that’s what the West is all about! They booze, they date, they always think about sex.
I’m just thinking who was that other guy I’ve seen on TV. You remind me of him a lot.
What?
Forget it. Anyways, I think we had all of what you said since thousands of years back? We even wrote Kamasutra that explained… well.. you know… several ways of having sex.
That is part of the culture, silly! We taught the world how to have sex! And compare it to what these girls do in pubs! They get boozed and dances with men of other religions! What a horrible crime that is!!
Oh yeah, I can see that. And what is it that you have against Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day is a Christian festival. And Christians imported such festivals from the West to convert people to Christianity!
Valentine’s Day is a Christian festival? I never heard of any Church in India celebrating the festival of St. Valentine.
You wouldn’t. Such are the tactics of the Christians!
I got it! I got it!!
What?
The guy whom you reminded me of.
Who is it?
Osama Bin Laden! He too used to talk passionately about protecting his religion and culture from the west, the Christian west’s agenda to de-stabilize the Islamic countries, and upholding the culture by taking it on women and innocent people!
You bloody pseudo-secularist, Commie, Christian! I will see what to do with you!
(PS: Those who are interested can also participate in the Pink Chaddi campaign. There could be no better Valentine’s Day gift than a Pink Chaddi to send to the Sri Ram Sene folks! 🙂 )