Homosexuality and Our Perceptions

I read about a “sexual orientation test” in Rediff’s website through India Uncut. The test is in promotion of an upcoming Hindi film and the film is not seriously about homosexuality. It is supposed to be a comedy. Well enough, but Rediff’s questionnaire is full of stereotypes as an online friend, who is Gay, points out. I think probably this is the right time to write about my views on the most tabooed topic – Homosexuality.

I used to have strong views against homosexuals. Just like many of us have or had, I thought it’s unnatural and as a society we shouldn’t let it happen. I always thought about it only from my point of view and never from the other. I thought of it as a mental illness as it is propagated by the society, even though Wikipedia says that medical science has removed homosexuality from the list of psychic problems long back.

In my teenage, I and my friends used to make fun of homosexuals. We used to gather together In the evenings on those days. So when a Gay teenager passed over (and we told them apart by their girlish notions), we would make funny and nasty comments on him and some would even shout at him. A friend even suggested that ‘we should softly invite him for a blow job and when he comes along we should beat the hell out of him to straighten him up’. However, that did not happen as most of us thought ‘let them be’. So homosexuals were easy preys upon whom you could prove your ‘masculinity’.

So for us boys, the Gays were boys who behaved like girls. And we couldn’t digest it, as their outer self and inner self were contradicting. I never thought of how it would be for them if it is this confusing for others. Growing up, I have had abusive experience from pedophiles in the crowded places. It was mostly older men but for me, they were Gays too. So there were more reasons to hate Gays – Gays are unnatural and they sexually abuse boys. I didn’t know about the term Pedophilia or the fact that Pedophiles abuse kids, regardless of their victims being boys or girls.

As I grew up and read more on the subject, I began to understand the different sexual orientations and stuff. I learned that being Gay need not be about being girlish. Or all Lesbians are not so masculine. They could be just like any other man or woman, except for their sexual or romantic orientation. I still couldn’t digest because in most of the homosexual blogs or in their pride rallies, sex is a celebrated symbol. I felt it nasty and wondered why they would display vulgarity in public or why sex is so important to them. But later I understood that their whole fight is about this one thing – getting the society to accept their sexual orientation, treat them as normal people. In that case, what else do they have to showcase or speak about?

I thought of myself, what if I was Gay? What if I felt only for men and never for women? What if it was not a disease? What if it was how I born? It is only then, when I put myself into their shoes, that I understood how helpless is the situation of homosexuals here. We cannot ignore the existence of homosexuality anymore. It only leads to more youngsters going into prostitution or worse, suicide.

I think as grown up individuals, heterosexuals should take part in the cause of homosexuals. For the equal treatment and legal protection for homosexuals in the society and country. We don’t need to be homosexuals to take part in this fight. It is like how we fight for freedom of expression here in the online world, regardless of our political leanings. We talk about equality everywhere – Gender based, Religious, Racial, Regional etc etc. Then why not join in this fight too?

To quote actor Sean Penn from his Oscar speech:

For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support.

We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

Let me end this post by linking to two Gay blogs that I stumbled upon. Sam‘s blog, he calls it “Straight-friendly Gay Blog”, for his posts that demystify the concepts that “Straight” world has about Homosexuality and Kris‘s blog for his music.

(Image source: Internet)

Humans and Hymen

Malayalees first heard the word Hymenoplasty when the reports came that Sr. Sephy (one of the accused in the Sr. Abhaya murder case) had undergone this surgery. In the Sr. Abhaya murder case, Sr. Sephy allegedly had done Hymenoplasty to prove her virginity. The news that Hymenoplasty could help you restore hymen could come as a shocking news to some but also a relief to others.

For the world outside Kerala, Hymenoplasty is nothing new. In France, many young Muslim women reportedly have done Hymenoplasty to prove their virginity and avoid troubles in their family and marital relationships. The news of a woman being divorced in the very night of her marriage and the case went to court had sparked off a national debate in France. Although the news article which came in The Newyork Times was trying to paint the whole issue as a problem of Muslim world alone, the truth remains that all conservative societies, regardless of a particular religion, see virginity as an important factor in marriage.

There was a big fuss in India when actress Khushboo had said that no educated man should expect his wife or girlfriend to be a virgin. This has lead to nation wide debates over virginity and pre-marital relationships in India. Two political parties in Tamil Nadu state took the protest to burning Khushboo’s effigies and demanding an apology from here. Also many people, men and women, regardless of their political affiliations, had said in their private discussions that Khushboo was wrong. All of this finally lead Khushboo to make a public apology.

Individually most of the men and women I know prefer a virgin partner. Virgin men or women in particular are very demanding about it as well, even though they wouldn’t publicly admit it. However, there are no pre-marital virginity tests reportedly conducted here.

Menses justifies polygamy?

Kanthapuram A P Aboobacker MusaliarIt is very common that religion being used for all the wrong purposes when it could have helped to enhance the lives of weak and the oppressed. Most of the times it would be the priests or clerics from a religion who would be misinterpreting the Holy Books to sustain their own interests and misleading the others within the community. The latest controversy about a comment from the senior Muslim cleric Kanthapuram A P Aboobacker Musaliar on polygamy shows that this trend still continues. Kanthapuram reportedly have said this: A second wife is biologically justified. Women’s menstrual cycle prevents them from sexual contact for 5-6 days.

His statement came in the backdrop of a state law reforms commission has come out with a draft bill to check polygamy and divorce by Talaq. The bill seeks that ‘monogamy shall be the rule’ and that ‘marrying again during the lifetime of husband or wife is an offence.’

The proposed bill wants that “if any married Muslim, man or woman, marries again during the subsistence of the first marriage, the party who violates shall be guilty of bigamy under the IPC and punishable as such.

Continue reading Menses justifies polygamy?

Indian Penal Code, Section 377

I can’t understand how they feel this thing! 😮

It is the same way we feel about women!

But still… 😀

Well, they prefer a different way. 🙂

I can’t imagine my son being this way. Would you feel okay if your future kid goes this way?

I wouldn’t. 😀 Now it’s got me thinking, isn’t it pure hypocrisy?

Yeah!

Need not be. You have the right to feel what you feel. But at the time you start imposing on others what you feel, that becomes a legal problem. So as long as your son/daughter dependant on you, you can control them. But once they are on their own, they are free to do it if they prefer it that way. To accept them or not are all based on how broad-minded you are. 😎

Right. And regardless of what I feel, the government should be taking care of the individual’s rights.

Absolutely. On that note, government should not club Homosexuality with Pedophilia. One is sex between two consenting adults and the other is sexual abuse.

Man! Are you gay? 😀

Yeah. 😛 So what? 😀

(That was a conversation between 3 people, including myself, when the news of Union Health Minister taking up the cause of Homosexuality came up)