(Thoughts after one chat session with a friend)
I remember reading a quote about old age that, ‘old age is always 15 years ahead of my age‘ or something like that. When I was in school, I thought that the people who went to college were old. When I moved to college, I thought that the final year students were old. After college, I thought 25 was old and then 30. At 31, I don’t know what is old anymore. Are they the people who have kids in highschool? Or whose kids are married and have kids of their own? Or those who have retired or counting their time in the death bed?
I would have said that the old age is when you stop being young in your mind, but that’s not true (for some, its about the physique; keeping your body fit). That kind of statement comes from those who have seen only boring examples of the old age. A generation of lecturing, boring and ordering people. One can grow old gracefully and staying alive doesn’t have to be staying young. We just have to grow old gracefully. And to do that, and to stop being the uninteresting people that the youngsters hate, we just have to stop being the oldie that we hated when we were young. And how do we do that? I have the following suggestions.
1) Interact with young people : Youngsters are full of enthusiasm and ideas. You feel a certain level of energy when you talk to them and that could trigger some fresh thoughts in your mind. They seldom think of the risks involved or spend too much time on planning and focus their energy on execution. Whereas oldies spend too much time estimating the risk, drawing out a fool-proof plan and sometimes end up with discarding the idea of execution altogether (though I’m not downplaying the importance of proper plan and risk estimation here). Their years of experience would primarily lead them to see the negatives first and most, while the youngsters always see the positives first because of their passion and enthusiasm for the execution of their ideas.
2) Give tips and opinion, not lectures : I hated it when old people started lecturing me when I asked them for an opinion or help. They would just go on and on, as if my life totally depended upon their words and they take a kind of pride in it. If you’re a parent, do not use your ‘parent power’ on your children and give them your opinion and tips that could help them without getting into an elaborated lecture. That would really make an effect on them.
3) Do not ask for respect; earn it : Many old people seem to think that being old gives them the right to ask for respect from the younger generation. That may not work anymore. Apart from the basic human considerations (of considering and giving space to the old like we do with little children), I don’t think anybody would give respect to any person just because they are old unless they are part of family (certain odd rules work for families in the name of blood-relation). And there is nothing wrong in it. You have to earn respect in your life. Age is no license to ask for it. The sooner you realize this, the better.
4) Do not act like you’re young : Some old people seem to think that ‘acting young’ would give them space among the young generation, which in my observation is completely wrong. If you want to act young, take your friends or the people of your age to do that. Otherwise, you would be making a fool of yourself. You would think cracking porn jokes or doing ‘fun’ things with youngsters would make you acceptable among them but they would think that you are a joker and they would make fun of you at your back. Similarly with your children. A friend once wrote in his FB page that his father was strict until he was 19 years of old and then became a good friend. I think that makes the point.
How do you see growing up old? As for me, I see the years to come with much excitement. For I know that I have changed for good and learned many lessons in the years I have lived so far. I am curious about what life has in store for me in the years to come. To see what the world would turn out to be in the future years. To see how life and living would change. To see my family and children grow. To see what relationships mean as we pass on each stage in life. The only thing I am concerned about growing old is to depend on someone else. About going senile, being bedridden and immobile. That truly is scary.
But what I don’t want to be is what my friend told me in the chat conversation – “I don’t want to end up like a wise cracking smart ass“.
What are your thoughts? 🙂