2009. What an year this was! Like this dialogue from the movie Forrest Gump says, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” It has been a mixed bag this year. But when was it all good or all bad? Life always kept giving me a lot of surprises. Good and bad ones. And this year been no different. In fact, it was the most happening year in my life to the date.
I had my first audio interview done for Deccan Radio, an internet radio station. The first English song that I composed, arranged and sung – a “Protest Song”, to say it in the Dylan way – had an honorable mention in the Desi Critics Valentine’s Day contest. It was creatively a very satisfying work for me. Then an article about Blogswara appeared in Malayalam Vaarika and my first TV interview came out in Manorama News, again about Blogswara. My cover version of the Malayalam song Picha Vacha Naal Muthal has 5000+ online listeners in Muziboo alone and a total of 1920 mp3 downloads within 4 months (Muziboo and 4shared combined). That is the maximum number of listeners and downloads I have ever got for a song posted online. Last year, I also composed a song for a short film, which is being directed by a friend.
2009 was an year of losses for Keralam on all fronts. Writer Kamala Das, a.k.a. Madhavikutty, passed away this year. Film personalities, including two top actors of the Malayalam cinema like Murali and Rajan P Dev and the very talented scriptwriter-director Lohita Das, bid good bye. Another one was Sainoj, a wonderful singer.
On the personal front, life always teaches it’s best lessons in bitter ways. And it helps you grow stronger through the most hardened ways. That is what I learned experienced this year.
Things which I’ve learned this year:
1) Only you can decide what works best for you. That doesn’t mean you should avoid taking tips or advice from others. Take plenty of these tips/help/advices. Whenever you want or from whomever you want. Think it through for sometime (not for a long time, because the delay can make it letting others decide it for you). And always rely on your instincts to reach the final decision. The end result may not always be happy, but you know that there couldn’t be a better decision.
2) Sometimes you have to take tough decisions in life for yourself. Even when you know that everyone around you whom you care so much about would be hurt and blame you for that decision. But if you are convinced that it is the best decision that you can take and the only one which would work best in the long run, go ahead and do it. Don’t worry too much about who would stand by you and whom you would hurt in the process (it is not as easy as I say it here though). Ultimately, it is about you and your life. No one else knows you better than you.
3) Don’t expect so much love and honesty from all your friends or family, so that you won’t be hurt too much when you do not get the expected amount of love and friendship from them. Most of the relationships work in a make-do way and out of convenience. Understand it and move on.
4) Money does play a big role in life, no matter what the others would poetically say. I would say, “There are only a few things that money can’t buy. For everything else, you need Master Card.” So always keep a balance between earning good and achieving your personal dreams, particularly when you have a family to look after. But do not worry about it, if you are strong enough to raise your middle finger at the world when they laugh at you and call you a loser.
5) There is no such pain as intense as Guilt. It is so powerful that it could destroy you totally. Learn how to get over that by yourself.
6) You don’t have to be nice to everyone. You don’t have to hold back from expressing yourself, fearing what others might think of you. Then you are at the risk of being unjust to yourself. Those who cared to know you in depth would hang on and always be with you. Others would pass and deservedly so. You cannot be friends with everyone in this world.
7) Do not underestimate the so-called “unlearned” ones. During my teenage and the early stages of my adulthood, I used to ignore my Mom’s wisdom. She is about two generations away and I thought that my Mom, who had education only till the 5th grade, could never understand the way things work in my time. And I used to underestimate her wisdom and admired the so-called educated, learned, cultured people instead. But as I grew up, I began to understand my Mother better and now I know that she could be the best advisor when it comes to family, relationships, society etc. The only exception could be the professional advice.
The unforgettable moments of this year:
1) The moment I saw my mother when she was being moved from the cathlab to the ICCU after her third heart attack in a span of two days. She had a terrified look on her face, as if she just saw death. She asked for me and held my hand when I went close to her. She only said, “it was so painful”. One look at her face and I was so afraid that I was loosing her. I told her “don’t be afraid, everything will be just fine”, though I was the most afraid one by then. “I know”, she replied as if to console me. Later when she came back home, she said that she thought she would die in there.
2) The first time I faced the TV camera for Manorama News interview. I was so nervous that I thought I would mess up the whole thing, but luckily I got in to the flow once the interview was started. I could say the right things and it was a success.
What I look forward to in the new year:
There are some exciting things coming up in the beginning of next year. I will write about it as and when it happens. Like I said, life has been a mixed bag through out these years, but at the end of every year, I could see the positives outrun the negatives. This year has made me emotionally and thus personally stronger. I am excitedly waiting for the hardships and happiness that the next year has to offer. 🙂
If I am to pick up some of the blog posts from this year for a revisit, the following would make up to the list.
Homosexuality and Our Perceptions
Church & Politics – An Un-Holy Alliance
The times of Times of India
The Dignity of Labor
Pictures of Thrissur Pooram
The Summer Vacation
An Indian non-Thamizhan’s take on SL conflict
The Soul That Knew How To Sing
Aussies, Bollywood, Racism etc
Why do you listen to music?
Before the Rains – City & Village
The WTF advertisements
Walk the Talk, Sir ji!
Paala Poovithalil – Thirakkatha (cover)
The Savita Bhabhi Saga
Age of Statues
Picha Vacha Naal Muthal (cover)
Iniyethra Naal (original composition)
What has made DHRM possible?
A circle of life
Sreemathi Teacher’s English
M G Sreekumar on Tamil songs
Love Jehad?
Bollywood and Indianness
And thanks to you my dear readers/listeners of this blog, for all the flowers and brickbats. You guys too help me so much in the process of learning and growing up. So thank you!